Saturday, November 7, 2015

Movie Review: Dracula 3000

Dracula 3000 a.k.a Dracula 3000: Infinite Darkness a.k.a Van Helsing vs Space Dracula a.k.a Van Helsing - Dracula's Revenge 
Film Afrika Worldwide, ApolloProMedia GmbH & Co. 1. Filmproduktion KG, Fiction Film & Television Limited, Germany, South Africa, 2004. 
Mother III salvage ship finds a lost ship Demeter. Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Dien), Professor Arthur Holmwood (Grant Swanby), navigator Mina Murry (Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld), muscleman Humvee (Tommy 'Tiny' Lister), Cargo specialist 187 (Coolio) Vice captain Aurora (Erika Eleniak) expect to find lots of precious stuff onboard! Video log of Captain Varna (Udo Kier) warns of some kind of epidemic. 
Tommy 'Tiny' Lister and Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld
Humvee and Mina
Casper Van Dien
Abraham Van Helsing
Erika Eleniak
Aurora
One long-haired mummified corpse is found holding a metallic plus-sign. Also the ship is full of coffins, so much for the precious cargo. The ship was carrying cargo from planet Transylvania, a dead planet of vampires. Soon the crew members start to get bite marks on their neck. Dracula himself (or Count Orlock) (Langley Kirkwood) appears in a suit fresh from masquerade costume store. 
Grant Swanby
Professor Arthur Holmwood 
Coolio
Vampire 187
Langley Kirkwood
Space Dracula
This is a bad movie and I mean Ulli Lommel-level bad with horrible production (non)values. The cover picture imitates H.R. Giger's biomechanical horror style, but nothing like that is seen in the film. Let's pretend that an old factory is a spaceship. Seems that Soviet Union is back in the game, as Lenin-posters and communist symbols decorate the spaceships. In the year 3000 humanlike robots can be made but people are still using antique firearms. Also the Professor is using a wheelchair in spaceship without any accessibility guidelines.
Udo Kier
Captain Varna
There are some not bad actors in the cast (Udo Kier, Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld and Grant Swanby) but their characters are terrible. We have possibly the most inept descendant of Van Helsing family ever and Dracula is not much better himself. The black characters are stereotypical (one is big and dumb, other is a stoner). Cinematography looks claustrophobic and cramped. Dialogue makes you want to bang your head against a wall. 
Interiors of a spaceship
What's with the Communist posters?
The director Roodt has directed plenty of serious movies based on South-African history. It is mind-boggling why he did choose to write and direct this atrocity.

Captain, we have a space turkey here!
Rating: Very bad

Starring: Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld, Grant Swanby, Langley Kirkwood, Tommy 'Tiny' Lister, Udo Kier 
Director: Darrell Roodt (as Darrell James Roodt)

4 comments:

  1. This movie sucks donkey balls! Big time! Now do Skeleton man next, heh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I have Skeleton Man too but maybe it is safer to watch couple of better films before that :D

      Delete
  2. Tämä oli kyllä kivulias kokemus. En saanut alas yhdeltä istumalta.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Täytyy myöntää etten tätä ihan putkeen katsonut, kun tuli muuta puuhaa välillä. Ehkä hyvä niin.

    ReplyDelete

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